i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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