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• (630): View more from Illinois

  $3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  does taste better than andre tho

  Fav 13 3538 1033

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

  Fav 6 5928 1156

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.

  Fav 5 2183 1649

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus

  Fav 6 2504 1504

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  25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (646): View more from New York

  Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.

  Fav 5 1396 1101

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

  Fav 3 2912 1165

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?

  Fav 6 1741 823

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

  Fav 9 2937 843

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.

  Fav 6 2216 928

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hows the party lookin?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party

  Fav 3 1326 579

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.

  (347): View more from New York

  Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.

  Fav 2 1119 509

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running

  Fav 4 788 520

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.

  Fav 5 896 400

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.

  Fav 0 520 391

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Sorry I peed on your ottoman

  Fav 0 150 295

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