Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.