So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.