How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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