my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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