I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
