So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
