they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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