The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
