she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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