he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
