I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
