you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
