Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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