I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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