i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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