Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Mom said you looked used
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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