I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
