I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
