the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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