you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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