they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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