oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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