so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
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this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
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He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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