so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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