Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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