We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
