i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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