I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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