when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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