I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
