My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
