theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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