The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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