Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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