Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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