Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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