Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize