I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
