He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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