woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize