Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
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2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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