I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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