I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
