she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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