Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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