im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
