i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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