her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize