i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
