This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
