i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
