did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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