my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
