how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
