there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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