; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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