eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
