Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
